a>wefn!tnh........*sigh*

i think it will all be alright.

wow...

*note: this post has nothing to do with anything spiritually.  whatsoever.  just thought i'd warn you.  :) *

so after much thought and encouragement from outside parties, i decided to sign up with Spotify.  in an attempt to find people on there, i clicked on the "Get Started" button.  i had already done all the steps, so i scrolled down to the box that proclaimed "Done!" and on it was a "Play" button.  i thought maybe it would be helpful.  so i clicked it.

and Rick Astley popped up on my screen.   ¬_¬

the end.

jdlkd"nO*#Uoi??*&Nsk@#shd{oskdj2m)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dear God,
please please PLEASE help me to see things from Your point of view.  please help me and others to know the truth about Your Word--what You really intended.  please let me know for sure if i'm wrong, and please help them to understand if they are.  please bring resolution and healing into my relationships.  please clear things up and make things right.  and please help me to have a positive and respectful attitude.  may the things i do bring You glory and honor.  Amen.

 ~ ~ ~

i've been thinking a little bit about the similarities between the weather and my mood recently.   today as i looked out at the overcast sky insulating the heat, i thought "nope.  this time it's not similar at all.  if it were, it would be pouring rain with lots of thunder and lightning."

**a while later**

"Did you hear all that thunder and see the lightning?  Those were some pretty big drops out there!"
"Umm... no.  Is it still going on?"
"Not really.  It was pretty short."

ahh.... i wish i had seen/heard it.  :)  actually i saw a little, but not much.

~ ~ ~

what else... oh.  right.
sorry if i've told you this already, but i think it needs to be here too.  i learned this yesterday:


Rules for having disagreements with your parents.

#1)  don't do it.

#2)  if rule #1 doesn't work out, don't expect to win or change their mind.



thank you if you prayed for me.

my goal

i really hope that someday i will completely feel this from the inside out and be able to say this truthfully:


if someday, i lose my hands, my feet, my voice, my hearing, and my seeing.  if i lose my ability to do everything i enjoy and my ability to enjoy everything i love.  if i lose all my independence and my intelligence and any talent i may have and my ability to speak for myself.  if i find myself always alone in a dingy apartment somewhere.  if i lose all my family and all my friends--everyone whom i have some degree of closeness with.  if i find myself completely abandoned and rejected by everyone i see.  if i have to do everything in hiding, if i am hunted down and persecuted daily.  if everyone misjudges and mistrusts me and no one truly knows me, and if everyone sees all the bad and none of the good in me.  if i cease to make any kind of progress or helpful contribution, and if every attempt i make for anyone only makes more hassle for them.  if everything i do for You leads to terrible things for me.

if i lose everything, i will still love and trust You.


obviously, some of this stuff goes against God's promises.  but if it were somehow possible, i hope i would still be able to say that.



p.s.:  on an entirely different note, and without getting into specifics, will you, Reader, please pray for courage and wisdom and patience in a particular situation for me?  if you don't mind?  thank you!