un-conditioning

i found this in my drafts.  it doesn't have so much to do with my life right now, or at any given point, as it does just in general for all times:


it's easy to thank God and to praise Him when times are fairly easy and life is good.  it's also easy when you're in a good mood and it feels like life is going your way.

it's easy to beg for God's help when times you're struggling and life sucks.  it's also fairly easy (a lot of times, if you are trained that way) when you are in a bad mood and it feels like life is really hard.

one thing i need to work on is completely relying on God, even when it feels like i can handle life easily on my own, and thanking and praising God, even when it feels like i have nothing to be thankful for and like God hasn't done much in my life for a while.

wash me

dear Savior,
please make me more like You.  make my ways more like Your ways, and my heart more like Your heart, and my desires more like Your desires.

i confess my motives are selfish; i know that a heart that yearns for You will truly be satisfied and will never be disappointed in all You are.

please create in me a clean and pure heart.  remind me of my joy that comes of knowing You.  have mercy on me and cleanse my foolish ways and my lack of understanding.  my life and all i do, good and bad, serves You only, but i'm so quick to forget.  make me pure like You, inside and out, and i will be as You always meant me to be.

love,
someone unfit to even use the word "love" in Your presence