so it turns out that overthinking every decision is a symptom and a coping mechanism for an anxious mind, not so much the thing that causes the anxiety. which means that in order to avoid being anxious, i reach for absolute certainty, or at least the comfort of getting as close to absolute certainty as i can. it’s like my cookie jar. apparently i get very anxious about making the wrong decision—financially, socially, spiritually, logistically— and use an excess of information to feel like i have truly done the best i could with all of the available information. i don’t know that it’s necessarily about controlling everything, so much as it’s about controlling all that i can (or could reasonably be responsible for). but then, i suppose there’s probably more to be dug up here with regards to a fear of being found negligent or deficient in some way.
