learning how to be responsible... again???

lately i've been thinking a lot about how i'm going to make next semester more manageable.  the obvious things are there: get sleep, stay hydrated, eat right, get exercise. but even those require a plan rather than just a piecrust promise.

anyway, it all comes down to discipline and time management--two things which have not been my strong points lately.  i keep thinking about some advice that was given to me: to budget my time.

Mom and Dad were always experts about budgeting money.  no matter how little we had to work with, they were brilliant about making the necessary cuts to live on what we had.  Mom was a genius about estimating precisely how much everything would cost--she was generally within a few cents of the actual price.  and even in times when Mom and Dad were sure there wasn't going to be enough to cover even the bare minimum, God provided just what we needed.

now i've heard the phrase "budgeting time" a lot before, and i've always thought of it as just planning my time out well.  but what if time were actually like money?  i have many commitments and obligations at any given time.  those are my expenses.  fortunately, i have a steady stream of income--time is always coming.  i mean, it could potentially stop coming at any time, but then i wouldn't really have any of this to worry about, would i?  whew, that got dark quickly.  anyway, the big difference between time and money is that you can save money, but--as much as people use the phrase--you cannot save time.  at least, you can't save it up.  it's impossible.  whether you intentionally use it or not, it leaves you anyway.  i get into debt quickly when all my time drains and i still have expenses.  :(

so, how do i stay on top of my expenses with a bank account that is constantly emptying?  budgeting!  fortunately, the time draining does not keep me from using that time to pay off my expenses, if i use it right.  monetarily, i'm typically very frugal.  i like to save as much money as i can, so that expenses won't catch me unprepared.  the closest thing to saving time is paying off time expenses as soon as possible, and hoping that there will be extra time left over.  the more slowly i pay off those expenses, the more expensive they become.

sometimes i can splurge, spending extra time with friends or using more down time--but only if i have that extra time to spend.  yet i know that those things are necessary too.  so i think the key there is to budget that in as well, at least to an extent.

people use charts and notebooks to keep track of their finances.  i will start this with my time, using an actual planner.  i think this might help.

the outgo cannot exceed the income, so i must make cuts and be diligent.

*stops splurging and returns to work*

musings on faith

it seems like much of the American Christian community throws the word "faith" around quite liberally, without putting a lot of thought into what the word means.


faith

secular--belief in a religion

Christianese--blind belief

Webster--

• : strong belief or trust in someone or something
• : belief in the existence of God : strong religious feelings or beliefs
• : a system of religious beliefs

Bible--the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen




what the heck does this all mean?




i've been wondering a lot lately about the issue of choosing to believe in God, and to trust Him, and to believe that He is good.  and what about those who think they're choosing Him, but really aren't?  or those who have just as much faith in something/someone else?

i don't have answers to all these questions, but the other day i got a thought about faith.  but let me back up first.

the Christian religion is founded upon certain essential doctrinal points (don't worry, this won't all be a pain to read).  one of them is that God is sovereign--an all-powerful, supreme ruler: in this case, over all existence.  another is that God is good--righteous, just, loving, and always acting in the best interest of his people.  sounds like a perfect world, right?  but sadly, no. free will is a thing.  (the way God's sovereignty and man's free will work together is a thing for a different post[s].  for now, let it suffice to say that we have complete free will over our own lives.  AND at the same time, God is in complete control over the world AND active in it.)

so when people say that God is good, it's usually after something favorable has happened in their lives.  this could be taken (or meant) in one of a few different ways:

• something good has happened. therefore, it must be from God, because all good things come from Him, and he wants me to be happy.
• this is evidence that God is doing good in the world, so i should share this as a testimony.

ok, pause. 1) biblically, yes, God is the giver of all good things.  the problem is that our perception of "good" often isn't.  we don't possess adequate information or wisdom to consistently know what is, or what will be, good.  2) nowhere does it say in the Bible that God wants us to be happy.  i challenge anyone to find me a verse that explicitly says that; it will dramatically affect my theology.  if you find a verse that doesn't say that, but you interpret it to mean that God wants us to be happy, then i challenge you to a debate, or at least a discussion, on that topic.  it's not that i think God necessarily wants us to be unhappy.  but i mean, Jesus does essentially promise that we'll suffer if we're really following Him.  and there was the whole thing with Job.  and there are lots of other instances of God's faithful suffering and even dying because of Him.  i just don't think that our happiness is priority #1.  i think we're supposed to find more than that--joy regardless of circumstance--in Him.

"you forgot one."

ah yes. 3) yes, as Christians, we are supposed to share our testimony of God's work in our lives.  but should that be conditional upon our circumstances being to our liking?

reworded: is God's work only visible when everything in life looks pretty and tidy?  do unfavorable circumstances mean that God isn't in control at that time, or that he's stopped being good?  i think not...

"but surely, if God is good and in control, there should be a whole lot of good happening in the world, right?  like, everything should ultimately be made into something good?  isn't that what the Bible says? that all things work together for the good of those who love God?"

and?

"and are called according to His purpose?"

quite so.  and that's where faith comes in.

there's a phrase that aptly represents some people's belief in Christian doctrines: blind faith.  based on no reason or evidence.  and yet, the most miraculous effects of Christianity come from faith in God's Word.  faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain.  it's not the other way around, where faith comes from seeing a mountain moved.  faith is what comes first.

i don't fully know yet why someone brought up with approximately no exposure to God or Christianity should choose that over a different belief system, unless they personally were changed by it or knew of someone who was.  i guess that's where Christians come in (ideally).  what i do know is that i have no excuse to not have faith, given all i know about how my Lord changes lives.

finally, my thought: faith is what happens when you finally decide to stop waffling about whether or not God exists, and whether or not He's good, and whether or not He's sovereign.  you have to decide to believe those things.  does it have to be blind?  i don't think so.  i think those with the deepest faith have taken their beliefs into their own hands, examined them, measured them against their observations, and made them their own.  but faith is when you make a choice to believe something and let it change your perception of the world, rather than depending solely on your perception of the world to determine your belief in God.  it's risky for sure.  hence, "leap of faith."  but God is bigger than your perceptions and your little worldview.  faith is when that becomes evident.

"but what about all the crappy stuff?"

i don't claim to fully understand.  but faith, i think, is trusting that God is doing good things through that, using it for a bigger plan.




"I am in deeper pain than I've ever felt before.  And if you know anything about my life--I've been through some crappy stuff.  But God, I know you're still good!"

- a friend who shall remain anonymous