it's strange. i've spent the last 13 years working toward a goal, and the last 1 1/2 yearning for it to be over with already. but now that it finally approaches, i feel hesitant (if you can feel hesitant about something inevitable).
don't get me wrong: i can't wait to get out of high school. and despite what they say, i can assure you with 98.9% certainty that i will not miss it. but i will miss a few of the people, and it has only been this year that i've come to realize that. Jerad suggested (and i think he may be right) that God has perhaps provided these people not only to bless me with some enjoyable relationships at school, but also to help me learn the value of even non-in-depth relationships. i used to not want those at all, but i'm changing my mind. can you imagine how overwhelming it would be if all of your friendships were the kind where you discussed deep matters and vulnerabilities? sometimes i just want someone to have a common interest with (not that there can't be both, or that i can't invest in someone i'm less close to, but in a way it's less weighty, which can be necessary). if all my friendships were this way, i would go insane, but it's nice to have a balanced variety.
even in my indecision, i am eager and excited for things to come. but there's still that little part of me that lingers its hold. well, i still have a couple months to enjoy anyway.
this turned out to be less about nostalgia and more about relationships, which increases its value by quite a bit. i kind of think this should maybe be two separate posts, but i don't have the time or energy to make that happen, so whatever.
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