but really though. of all the metaphors--chemistry??? like, did the people who originally thought of that ever actually take a chemistry class?
sorry, let me restart.
i find it interesting, and somewhat misleading, that people who seem to hit it off, especially romantically, are said to have chemistry. i mean, it's so quantitative. chemistry is so full of equations and formulas, and it's so precise.
but sometimes it just doesn't add up. all the numbers could be there, and yet when they come together, 2+2=5. or more appropriately, CO2 + N2 = 2H2O.
and so many people think (or perhaps feel would be more accurate) that they personally have made a mistake if they don't get the girl in the end (...or the guy... or whatever). that they were so stupid, or that it's somehow their fault. when sometimes (not always), the truth is that there just aren't measurable reasons. i could see how that could be both encouraging and infuriating.
perhaps a more truthful metaphor would be to say that two people have a roaring campfire in the middle of a forest. hmm... it just doesn't have the same ring to it though, you know?
there was a time in history when chemistry (not physics; chemistry, which is human knowledge rather than patterns in the universe) was extremely imprecise. even putting pseudoscience aside, 'knowledge' would evolve erratically. advancement was stagnant for centuries and then something revolutionary would be discovered, and then things would level out again as people focused on applying the new 'knowledge' and then another discovery would occur... and so on.
ReplyDeletefor crying out loud-- we're still adding elements to the periodic table! "time to rewrite the books again" is becoming more and more common a headline.
i don't know the etymology (hard to track down metaphorical uses of words that way) but i suspect the first time someone used chemistry as a metaphor for romance, it was apt as could be. two interesting and familiar yet not entirely understood substances come together (not always on purpose; google "chemistry accidental discoveries" without the quotes) and something intense and amazing happens.
i do prefer building my own fires, on purpose, within boundaries (which can grow)... and, i prefer starting out with a single votive candle. it takes years for me to become truly close to someone, and i don't date people to whom i'm not truly close. the less time one spends building a bonfire, the more likely it is to either burn out quickly or grow out of control. so i appreciate your metaphor as well.
still, i think chemistry is a perfect metaphor for romance. so here are some true statements that apply equally to each one:
1) understanding of it varies dramatically from person to person; so does experience / competence (you can teach a thing well, without being good at doing it).
interestingly, this means that someone who knows nothing about both chemistry and romance is as likely to use the metaphor as someone who knows a great deal about both. (which also means that if someone finds it an unfit metaphor, they might know one much better than the other...)
2) it's extremely common to experiment with it, sometimes without knowing you're doing so (e.g. baking, posting a new profile picture, teasing/joking with a friend, putting on a new perfume)
3) sometimes the process of it can surprise even the knowledgeable person. this surprise can be abrupt or gradual.
4) sometimes you can attempt to 'do' it (use your knowledge of it to accomplish something) over and over again, and not succeed until the three thousandth attempt:
https://www.quora.com/How-many-times-did-Thomas-Alva-Edison-fail-exactly
...or, sometimes you can attempt to do it and succeed the first time:
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?_r=0
5) it can, and often does, involve an extremely complex array of interacting elements which, even if they were individually known and catalogued, would defy comprehensive analysis:
"We naturally produce pheromones in different ratios that gives us all unique pheromone signatures." http://houseofpheromones.com/what-are-pheromones/
"Coffee contains a tremendous number of chemicals, with over 1000 aroma compounds." https://www.chemistryworld.com/feature/chemistry-in-every-cup/1012386.article
6) i've tried to avoid both of them my whole life, and ended up embracing both to the point of foolhardiness.