this is sort of an offshoot to the last topic, and a somewhat hotter take in my opinion, and it's a response to the mentality that says "i am not responsible for others' feelings."
which, like, yes. ultimately, each of us is responsible for what we do with our own thoughts and feelings. i think we are better off for thinking that way for ourselves--it shifts the locus of control in our favor. and also, it's important for your own sanity to realize when someone else's unreasonableness or overreaction is not your fault.
but we are responsible for the things we do that affect other people, and, to some degree, how they affect other people. my problem with this statement is that it's not a far leap from "i am not responsible for others' feelings," to "well it's not my fault you're responding in a hurt way to my choices." and that is blaming other people for their pain, which is the technical definition of a fartbag. if my default approach to life is that i can't be held responsible for the feelings of others, then it becomes very easy for me to go through life justifying the havoc i leave in my wake as i fail to empathize with them in the name of my own freedom. it is very easy to do this even without realizing that that's anything like what i'm doing.
perhaps an amended version of this statement could be "i am not responsible for what others do with their feelings,"?
to tie it back into my last post, if we accept the premise that we have some responsibility to other humans, it should not be a surprise or a wildly controversial statement that taking into consideration the feelings and struggles of those around us should be a fairly baseline responsibility to them.
but to what degree should this be taken? that, Detective, is the right question.
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