individual freedom vs. social responsibility

i may be out of line with all this, but i don't think i am.

the more i think about this, the more it seems obvious that the more you have responsibility, the less you are able to use your own individual freedom.

for example: if i work eight hours a day at a job, i am responsible to be there, to get the job done, to generally be a good employee, etc. i then no longer have the freedom for those eight hours to choose where i am or what i am doing. i have an obligation to fulfill to my boss, or my customers, or whomever. (it's also worth noting that in this situation, i am compensated in a way that makes it worthwhile to continue bearing the responsibility and forfeiting my freedom; namely, i get paid so that i can continue living. this is a relevant part of this topic, but not the central part right now.)

here's my hot take: i think we have failed when we stop viewing relationships as responsibilities.

in a working relationship, this is probably the most obvious, because it is relatively cut and dry. most of my responsibilities to the people i work with have to do with the job itself, and not so much with interpersonal dynamics.

however; there are social borders, which can be harder to define or navigate sometimes. it is a basic responsibility that you have to all people, whether you know them or not, to not murder them or steal from them, for example. it is a pretty basic responsibility you have to the people you interact with to maintain a baseline level of politeness and friendliness (in our society). but what are the exact borders of that? there is some grey area, and this may be one of the more clear-cut examples. do i have the individual freedom to swear in the privacy of my own home? technically yes. do i have the freedom to swear at frustrating customers or coworkers or students? no.

but then, there are other relationships which are more sticky. friends. family. old acquaintances. former friends. the rules are less universal, but may be more binding. do i have the freedom to swear around or at my friends and family? i mean, my relationships don't generally operate that way, but many do. can i spread gossip about my friends? about my family? probably not if i want to keep those relationships.

that actually leads to an important distinction. in most cases, technically, i have freedom to do whatever i want, but it may not benefit me to do so. can i skip work whenever i want so that i can stay home and watch tv? i mean, technically yes. but doing so will get me fired, probably. can i badmouth or betray my friends and family? sure, but that will result in lost friends and poisoned familial relationships.

so here's a thought experiment. there is something i can do which i know will hurt someone i know, but is socially acceptable, and possibly even within my right to do. it is an expression of my freedom, but is not necessary. do i have the freedom if that hurt person is just some rando on the street? a coworker? an acquaintance? a close friend? a family member?

this is a rhetorical question; my point is that the answer may change depending on the relationship. relationships come with responsibilities, whether we want to believe it or not. in a world where you need to interact with other people, there is no such thing as absolute freedom. that would be anarchy. there is nothing freer than being alone, but that does not mean it is the best way.

so to whom are we responsible, and for what?

that, Detective, is the right question.