lately there have been multiple opportunities for me for student leadership in the church youth group. the way they're all kind of arising at once makes me think it's more than just a coincidence, so i'm already starting involvement in the leadership group a little bit. truly, it excites me, partly because of how it may grow other people and serve them, and partly because of how it may grow me as a Christian. but still, a part of me hesitates, and here's why:
i'm not who i think many people think i am.
maybe this is normal. i realize that everyone is a sinner and messes up, and that God meets us where we are. i just feel that for once i should actually be responsible and warn everyone publicly (not that people read it, but at least it will be here).
i think that people might think i am some kind of Bible prodigy, if that's even a thing. or some kind of awesome Christian, always keeping exactly to the straight and narrow. or even so sheltered that i'm oblivious to a lot of sin that goes on (well, i guess that one's a little true). :/ i don't know exactly.
but here's who i really am at heart: rebellious, as much as anyone my age. often self-centered. irresponsible and fairly undisciplined. hypocritical. fickle. so, so, so easily distracted. prone to pride if i'm not careful. and prone to falling (hehe... anyone who's seen me skating could tell you that). "lucky" for me my God is a friend to the fallen.
i am still striving to grow closer to God, and i am willing to serve Him however i can, though i warn you that i will fail at some point(s). i suppose the latter is true of pretty much everyone, but i thought people should know both sides of me before i go further.
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