the unfinished tall tale

once upon a time, there was a boy named Jack.  he worked in a spice and condiment factory, which was generally the most exciting thing about his life.

one day at work, he found a tiny seed.  it was smaller than anything he had ever seen before.  curious, he took it home and planted it.

the next morning, when he woke up, he didn't see anything.  but after a few next mornings, he woke up and saw that the seed had not only germinated, but was the largest of all his garden plants.  it was so large, in fact, that its branches were strong enough for him to climb.  so he did so.

Jack climbed higher and higher and higher.  when he got to the top of the plant, he could no longer see his house because clouds were blocking his view of the ground.  but he looked up and saw an enormous castle.  having heard many stories of such things, naturally he was nervous about what he might find.  but curiosity won over, and he reached for the knocker.

as his hand closed around it, the giant door opened.  Jack closed his eyes tightly and prepared for the grinding of his bones or something equally unpleasant.  but when he finally gathered the courage to open his eyes, nothing bad awaited him.  instead, the castle held only the things of his dreams (the good ones), except more vibrant and real than he had ever imagined.  almost as if he were in a fairy tale.  well... whatever.  after staring in wonder for at least a full day, he discovered that he would have to spend the night out on the vine.  but he didn't mind.

he stayed up in the clouds so long that he lost track of time.  sometimes he would step just over the threshold, but was immediately so overwhelmed with wonder that he could go no further.  he spent many nights outside, only venturing in when the castle door opened for him.  it was not always open, but always unlocked.

one day he grew impatient, so knowing now that he was always welcome, he reached to open the door himself.  at that moment, he started falling.  and falling.  once he got to about the level of his roof, he caught hold of the vine, but discovered that the rest of it had broken off.  upon waiting a few days on the vine, it started growing back its height.  and naturally, Jack started climbing up again, but cautiously.

he soon found that the vine was not growing back the same.  it was still tall, but this time it had thorns.  at first only occasionally, they grew more and more frequent as he neared the top.  and the more he tried to cut them off of the vine, the more they dug into his skin.  but he considered it worth it, and kept climbing.

he eventually reached the castle again, and the door was already wide open.  cut and bloody, he again entered and was overwhelmed with elation.  his cuts never stopped hurting, but he tried to ignore them as much as possible.

Jack even dared to venture further into the castle.  the further in he went, the more glorious everything was.  and the more real it seemed.  and the more it seemed like it would fade away as soon as he came to it, just like all of his other dreams.

then the writer did not get attacked by a horrible monster, but instead realized that the story was already written, and had a temper tantrum out of frustration, and then went home.

and then some other cool (and uncool) stuff happened and made it into a very interesting and compelling story with an awesome ending, because all fairy tales have happy endings.

and in the end, the King of the castle rescued Jack from the thorns and tended his wounds, which eventually went away.  and Jack wound up living in the castle, which was actually cooler than his awesomest dreams, though perhaps not exactly what he expected.

the end