so i was thinking yesterday (shocking!), and my thoughts wandered to this blog. and i realized that its original purpose is not being fulfilled if i don't follow through with things. especially if the things i don't follow through with are resolutions. also especially if no one has been told of them in person either.
SO... this post. i planned to not write anything else on this topic after one called "trustrating." (go find it if you want, but the whole thing is so revolting to me... i wouldn't recommend it). my reasoning was that i didn't want to draw too much attention to something that didn't seem like it should be a big deal. but after that post... it still kept hurting, and i still thought about it kind of a lot. a little (erm...lot) more vulnerability, a few (or something) more tears, a little more prayer, a little more reconciliation, bla bla bla....
anyway... that post was the learning experience. this one is the resolution. the point is that a couple months ago i very intentionally made an important decision. the decision to stop picking at scabs. to allow feelings of guilt or anger or confusion or resentment to die of neglect and undernourishment, and to move forward. "you gotta put your behind in your past." i'm not saying i'm totally healed yet, necessarily, though i truly believe that God led me to this point. but i am saying, on behalf of two(ish) months ago, that i am refusing to allow this to fester or eat at me any longer.
i am also saying that i need to find a way to not let my blog die of neglect, while still being temporally responsible. :)
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