"Oh, sometimes I think it is of no use to make friends. They only go out of your life after awhile and leave a hurt that is worse than the emptiness before they came."
~Miss Lavendar Lewis, Anne of Avonlea
it's this time of year in multiple instances.
i miss so many people. it seems like whenever i start getting close to someone, they disappear in one way or another.
sometimes i feel that it would be better to give up pursuing intimacy with anyone (of the earthly variety) and find a way to make myself be ok with it so that it wouldn't hurt so much when people leave.
(p.s.: would you believe that i actually had this post pretty much written before i came across the quote in a book?)
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
ReplyDelete-C.S. Lewis in The Four Loves
I don't think it's right or any less frustrating that friends leave for disappear, and I wish I could say it would stop happening eventually (pre-heaven-earth). I do trust that God knows your pain and considers your desires. Further than that, I believe your choice to love will strengthen you (in a strength in weakness way) for the relationships you do keep.
I know you do and will appreciate those people who remain in your life very much, yet it's people we love that cause us the most acute hurt, and how you react to the hurt of peoples' disappearances may prepare you for the pain of their close presence in your life.
i miss you too
ReplyDelete