[12/29/14 12:49 pm]
something is happening that i can't explain, and i like it, but it's also really strange for me. but no, i can't just go into it head-on like that. let's see...
ok. so, band was usually always my favorite class in the past, followed by orchestra. the reason for this was that a lot of the orch people had more drama going on between them than the more practical band people, so i wanted less to get involved. but most of the drama queens have graduated now.
my favorite class this year is orchestra. by a lot. for one thing, i really like the mix of people in my class, but it's more than that. i look forward to seeing them every day. like, that's the highlight of my day. and i find myself actually wanting to see them outside of school. a lot.
"umm... yeah. it's called making friends. it happens a lot with people of similar interests. it's actually pretty normal."
not for me! most of the people around me i... get along with. some of them i even like pretty well, as far as acquaintances go. if i think about you after i leave campus, it's either a pretty good sign or a really bad one. but this... it's totally different. several of these people i strongly desire to have more than just a friendly acquaintanceship with. my longing to know them is even comparable to what i feel for some people at church (a bit different dynamic, but still). the weird thing is that there's no obvious reason that i see for this recent development (which eats at me a little, as you can probably imagine, if you know me). to want that this strongly for specific individuals who are actually my age is... very very rare.
ok. the more times i read over this, the more ridiculous it sounds. also, if i use the word actually one more time, i'm actually going to delete this entire post, so i'm just going to stop here. :)
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