reckoning with your own insufficiencies is sort of like going through stages of grief. just think about it:
"you suck"---oh no! it's true! what ever am i going to do about it? my heart is broken.
"you suck"---that really hurts. and i wish you'd stop saying it.
"you suck"---oh yeah? well i have a thousand reasons why, and maybe if you didn't act the way you did, i would have an easier time not sucking.
"you suck"---who are you to criticize me anyway? you don't know me or what i'm dealing with.
"you suck"---again?
"you suck"---yeah, yeah, probably. what else is new? tell me something i don't know.
(it's worth noting that "you suck" is almost always my imagination of what other people think, not necessarily what they actually express.)
it's almost like i have to accept my insufficiencies and let go of the pressure to be perfect before i can actually grow past them.
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