defined: the relationships

so a while back, i came across a set of distinctions on the internet, noting a difference between types of attraction. i've thought about this quite a bit since then, and i've found it pretty helpful. i'm sure as i think more on it and experience more of life, these definitions will change and expand, but here's what i have so far, which is making it easier to categorize things in my head:

- friendly attraction--this is not necessarily strictly platonic, but it can be. i've written posts detailing this more in the past, so i'm gonna be lazy and not repeat myself, but this is just the draw you might have toward any other person. it's what makes you want to know them. i would include emotional attraction, mental attraction, and spiritual attraction as subcategories of this, though i might find that incorrect later. (perhaps those should be considered categories all by themselves, since they are different from each other in nature and occur in differing amounts, but i'm not worrying about that right now.) by itself, it might be called a friend crush.

- aesthetic attraction--this is simply the recognition that someone is good-looking. that's seriously all it is. and i think it's helpful to recognize that this can exist by itself, and it doesn't necessarily mean anything else. additionally, if someone has a "type," i think this is usually what they're referring to.

- sexual attraction--i don't know if this needs to be further defined, and if it does, i am CERTAINLY not the person for the job. if i really decide to go down this rabbit hole sometime, maybe i'll have a more qualified person whom i trust guest-post on this. next point.

- romantic attraction--this one is the most nebulous and confusing for me. every time in the past i've tried to define it, it eludes me because it seems to be some concoction of the other three types, unique to every situation. but the best definition i've come to is this: a desire for exclusive emotional intimacy (exclusive being what sets it apart from friendly attraction, emotional being what sets it apart from sexual attraction). or maybe another way of putting it would be a desire to occupy a position of unique importance in that person's life. also, this can exist to a lesser degree, where the desire might merely be for importance/intimacy, but not necessary to the exclusion of all others. but then again, that sounds basically kind of like friendly attraction, so i don't know (like maybe a mild crush that isn't jealousy-inducing?). i'm sure there's more to it than this, but when i discover it, i can write another post on it then. also, i'm sure that there are others who would define this very differently, but they're not the ones writing this, so there.

it's also worth noting that the order in which these occur is not universal. i think i am probably an outlier in this, but for me, it tends to go (1)-(4)-(2)-(3?), with only one exception i can think of. all this considered, it is understandable that this whole type of experience would be very confusing for me. still, categorizing it out like this is helpful.