man. if i had the benefit of all the vocabulary in the dictionary, i don't think i could adequately describe my shock and disgust. i know i tend to be naive, especially for someone my age, but i don't know how up until now i've been so oblivious to the fact that there are people so despicable. ugh... *shudders*. and to the fact that this is so prevalent within my own city--my own corner of the city, even. or rather... i guess i kind of knew, but it wasn't so real for me. you know how you hear something, but it just goes through your ears as some kind of distant story.
here's the thing. as bad as all that is, i know that somehow God is still in control of it all. He loves those people, whom He created, more than any sympathy we could have. He hates that sin more than any of us could know or relate to. and... He also loves the criminals and the perverts who take advantage of it.
after the movie, and after we broke off into prayer circles, i met a woman who had raised five children in the mountains, where trafficking is apparently much easier. she had raised her children to be cautious and aware, but she told of a time when her own daughter was almost stolen, and of when a man was stalking her children. like... following them around, and watching them with binoculars. can you imagine??? maybe so. i can't.
AND, this is just one of the world's many problems. but how can i live this same way any longer? or complain about anything anymore? or say that i have any problems at all? or just obliviously live in my own little bubble any longer? seriously! the biggest immediate problem i can claim is my overload of stuff to do, which i've brought on myself! i know i won't singlehandedly stop this. i'm not sure what i can do. or if i can do anything. or if this is even something i'm being called to serve with. but i can't just do nothing about everything anymore. not when this actually goes on daily, for millions. not when people are constantly in danger because of this and other things worldwide. i have to find something that i can do effectively to help something, and to share God's truth effectively with someone. that's the only thing that will clean up messes with any kind of permanency, but even still...
wow. that second-to-last sentence reminded me of a woot shirt my brother has, which helped my already suffering focus approximately not at all.
i guess i'm about done. i'm glad God is still on the throne through all this and that He is actively involved in His world, or this (and any) situation would be completely hopeless. and i need to start more actively seeking out what God's will is for me in public issues like this. if what i'm doing right now is really all i can and should be, then whatever. but i have to know. i kind of doubt it is, though, because i'm not really ok with passive ignorance and submission and acceptance anymore.
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actually, i guess there is one more thing i've been wondering, of which i was reminded while writing. i might be writing more on this at some point later, but yesterday morning, i heard someone used the phrase "feel called to serve" in such and such an area. my question is this: if you "feel" like you should or want to serve in an area, does that necessarily mean that you are being called to it? and conversely, if you don't have strong feelings for it, does that mean you aren't called to it? i think that sometimes God speaks through feelings, but is that a reliable way to determine His will for us?
Emotions can be fickle. For something like human trafficking, it's easy to feel an impulse to help... possibly for a short time, though, and perhaps stirred mostly by guilt. Someone could also experience as a part of who they are, an enduring compassion and a discomfort with being passive.
ReplyDeleteNeither is "wrong." You could be motivated for the wrong reasons, but commit your will to a ministry anyway (so long as those feelings weren't the foundation). The latter is something I would hope many Christians on the front lines of issues will have (passion), but theoretically you could obey because of your love for and from Christ.
...I think you captured it well in your last sentence, though that was a question. God sometimes speaks through feelings, but that isn't an independent message and it's definitely not binary. As Heather W. would perhaps note, our past history, current circumstances, talents and resources... etc., can all indicate whether or not and in what ways we can minister.
And I don't know anything about this particular film, but I was made aware of a certain site/campaign that is really determined on tackling sexual exploitation specifically, not by treating symptoms but by healing the source. If you have been thoroughly convicted and heartbroken, but are still considering actions to be a part of the solution, then it might be a worthwhile watch and read for you.
http://unearthedpictures.com/