paper towns

how much of me just wants to be found?  and also, how much of me is trying to [re?]create something by starting to imagine that it’s there?

i've been thinking a lot lately about ideas versus reality. most of this blog reflects my tendency to live inside my head a lot. it is very easy for me to get lost in my own feelings and ideas and theories. in a sense, i still feel like that makes life interesting and deep.

the thing is, most of those things can very easily act as substitutes for reality. especially for a perfectionist, it's tempting to theorize about life so much that i don't spend much time actually gaining experience in the things that i theorize about. to once again lift an example straight from a vlogbrothers video, i can spend all the time in the world planning how to create the perfect pot, but when it actually comes time to make it, it's going to be much less effective than just making 100 progressively less crappy pots.

in a similar, though not the same, vein, it is very tempting to learn a lot about a person without actually testing these ideas about them out in reality. in so doing, you can form a sort of fantasy version of a person by filtering them though the lens of your own imagination.

perhaps this is one reason it takes me so long to get to know people. it takes time to be able to decipher the difference between assumptions and reality.